HEART AND HOPE 3
by deetatarant
Summary: Casual Death..... season 2


Owen perched himself on the edge of the metal autopsy table and watched somewhat nervously as Ianto prepared a suture tray. The young Welshman snapped on a pair of latex gloves and carefully peeled away Owen's blood soaked tattered shirt. Owen hissed through his teeth at the mess and pain, a jagged scratch from left collarbone to right nipple unfortunately deep enough to require stitching. Gwen and Tosh were stood on the upper level looking down at their three male colleagues. Jack was still dead on the floor, a pillow having been lovingly placed under his head by Ianto right before he got round to attending to Owen. Ianto passed Owen a bottle of clear liquid and Owen inspected the label before handing back to him.

"Yep, that's the one; 2mls at 3cm intervals should do it." He watched as Ianto took out a syringe and loaded it with the local anaesthetic. Owen never took his eyes off Ianto's hands as the younger man carefully administered the required amounts of the drug along the length of the wound. Ianto threaded a needle and with tweezers in hands proceeded to sew up the gash, his face a mask of intense concentration with a deep furrow that settled between his eyebrows. The only interruption came from Jack reviving and getting to his feet. Once the stitching was complete Ianto cleaned the along the sutures with saline to check his work. Owen was gobsmacked at the precise neat stitching. They were bordering on perfect.

"Where the hell did you learn to do that?"

Jack stepped round the table to admire the handiwork.

"My Tad was a tailor; he taught me how to sew." Ianto was frowning worriedly. "Why, are they not right?"

Owen was still admiring them. "Mate they are brilliant, couldn't have done it better myself."

Ianto was genuinely taken aback by the compliment. "Really?"

Beside him Jack reached round and squeezed his waist. "They are very neat, will hardly leave a mark."

"I thought that was the point."

"It is." Owen assured him. "And I am very grateful; you are definitely on stitching duty from now on."

Ianto quirked his eyebrows and rolled his eyes. "So you're going to make the coffee then are you?"

"No!" Jack, Gwen and Tosh all shouted at once.

Owen just grinned and then winced as the anaesthetic started to wear off. Ianto stepped away pulling off the latex gloves and binning them. "You can clean up in here then Dr Harper, whilst I make coffee."

Ianto left the autopsy bay with Jack at his heels. Ianto strolled over to the kitchenette and washed his hands before setting about making every one's drinks and Jack stood in the doorway, arms folded across his chest watching the Welshman. There was obviously something wrong. Jack hadn't been back long from his journey to hell and back on the Valiant and he was still trying desperately to repair his fragile relationship with him. The whole team dynamic had changed during his absence and Ianto having to pull the odd surprise out of the bag had been one of those changes. Not that Jack was surprised by the abilities in themselves, just the fact that Ianto was so much more open than he ever used to be around the people he worked with. The whole team had learnt to share so much of themselves and Jack's absence had been the thing that finally knit the team together. The irony of it was not lost on Jack in the slightest. However, the moment in the autopsy bay had most definitely affronted Ianto on some level, Jack could see it in the rigidity of the young man's back, the tightness in his jaw.

"Ianto? Are you ok?"

Ianto turned and smiled, it failed in every way possible to reassure Jack. "No."

Ok.

"So... er what is up?"

Ianto went back to his chore..... Yes it was a chore these days; he had too many other things to do. He had too many things on his mind.

"You were dead on the floor and all I wanted to do was hold you so that I'd be there when you woke up. I hate it, seeing you dead..... after Abbadon, I get scared Jack..... scared that you might not wake and you all treat it like some joke."

Jack was confused now. "But we weren't joking about it."

Ianto threw down the tea towel and looked at Jack with darkened, hurting eyes. "No, today we went one further and virtually pretended it wasn't happening in front of our eyes. You can be so cavalier about it. It's your life Jack, its precious the same as the rest of us. You treat it like a toy."

Jack was lost for words, he stood there mouth hanging open.

"You've only been back a few weeks and already John has thrown you off a building, Beth stabbed you and that Weevil broke your neck this evening. How many more that we don't even know about? How many whilst you were away."

Jack's heart dropped to his gut. He did not want the reminder. His face paled, he could feel the blood running from his cheeks as he abruptly turned and walked away to his office slamming the door behind him. Ianto shook his head in frustration and went back to the coffee making.

"Have you two just had a row?" It was Toshiko.

Ianto looked at her with forlorn eyes. "I'm not sure to be honest."

He offered her a mug of mochacino.

"Are you two back together Yan?"

Ianto shrugged. "Were we together in the first place? You said it yourself, he was happy in 1941 with 'Jack', he ran off for 7 months and left me, left us. I don't know Tosh. I feel more confused about him than I did when he was gone. I am also tired of being expected to do everything that no one else wants to bloody well do..... I told him off for being careless with his life."

Tosh sipped on her delicious drink. "You were right to, he was careless."

Ianto picked up Jack's mug. "And once again I have to apologise for saying something that has hurt him, even though I don't know what it was. I just wish he could trust me. I don't suppose he ever will and if he can't there's no real point in us is there."

Tosh understood. "Call me if you need to talk later."

Ianto nodded and kissed her cheek briefly as he passed her. "Thanks Tosh."

Sucking in a fortifying breath he marched toward Jack's office and knocked at the door before entering. Jack was not at his desk so Ianto could only assume his boss was down in his bunker. He wandered over to the circular manhole and kneeled down, the coffee mug still in his hand.

"Jack?"

"Come down Yan." It sounded more like a request than an order.

"Can you take your mug from me?"

A moment later Jack was on the bottom rung reaching his hand up and Ianto passed him the drink before climbing down into the dimly lit space that had become his home whilst Jack had been away. It felt alien to him now. Jack was sat on his bunk patting the space next to him.

"Come, sit."

Ianto hesitated.

"Please Ianto."

"Ok." Ianto sat beside Jack, close enough to feel the warmth coming off him, but not touching. Ianto wasn't ready for that. Silence blanketed them as Jack took a long draught of scalding coffee, his eyes closing in obvious pleasure.

"I really missed that when I was away. The Doc can't make coffee worth a damn; Martha's wasn't too good either."

Ianto didn't want to know and he moved to get up. Jack's hand on his thigh stopped him dead.

"Don't go. I have to talk and I need you to listen. I'm going to tell you about what happened while I was away and whatever I say to you does not leave this room. Do I have your word?"

Ianto nodded. "I won't discuss it with anyone, I can promise you that."

Without looking Jack's hand moved from his leg to grip his hand like a vice and Ianto had to bite back a hiss of pain. Jack was staring at the Victorian brickwork in front of him a faraway expression on his face.

"I won't apologise to you for going Yan. You know I had to go, to find answers to fix my problem. Truth was when I left all I could think about was being with him again, he turned my life around and made me a better person. The Doc and Rose..... I found out that it was Rose that did this to me. She exposed me to the time vortex and brought me back from death and after that, I don't stay dead anymore. I do not understand the science of it and don't care to. Trouble is when I found my Doc, he'd changed. I didn't know he could do that. He said I was wrong, unfixable and unnatural. Unfortunately my actions in finding him lead to the creation of a time paradox here on Earth." He sucked in a breath gearing himself up to continue speaking and swallowed down the last of the coffee. Ianto carefully covered the hand that had gripped him so tightly so that it was warmed in both of his.

"Go on Jack."

"It's hard to explain.... but we lived through a year and when I am feeling strong enough I will tell you about it in more detail. There was a battle. I was held prisoner for almost 12 months, so was the Doc. Our captor discovered my unique gift and chose to use me for a little experimentation..... I died every day, sometimes two or three times a day for that year at his hands. The methods varied, but the end result was the same..... I always woke up, wishing that I couldn't. I was forced to watch as you were tortured to death over weeks.... Owen got off lightly he died within a couple of days. I don't know what happened to Gwen and Tosh, but I always came back continually hoping for the next time..... when maybe... just maybe...." Jack lowered his head wanting to hide the tears from Ianto, but the young man knew they were there. It was an incredible story, frightening, if true; which Ianto was sure it was. He couldn't imagine what dying once would be like, let alone all those times, never able to escape from the pain and fear. But if he, Ianto, had died; how was it he was sitting here in this room? Jack had seen him die, how was that even remotely possible? Ianto sighed knowing that those questions would have to wait.

He waited quietly for Jack to collect himself before speaking.

"Do you still want to die?"

Finally their eyes met like opposing tides. "No. What I want is for you to trust me again, to have faith in me, I know you have a million questions rolling around that head of yours, when I can cope with the details I'll tell you anything you want to know. But I need you to give me a second chance."

Ianto offered a faint upwards curve of his lips. "I never stopped trusting you Jack. I was angry and hurt, but never untrusting. I will always be there for you, as long as I am alive, I'm just not the person you left behind anymore. None of us are."

"I understand that."

Ianto squeezed his hand. "Actually, I don't think you do. We're stronger Jack; more unified we work well together, better than we ever did before. There are conditions now, for us and if you break them there is no us."

Jack wiped at the water on his face as he nodded. "Tell me."

"Next time you have to leave, tell us, don't just run away. Trust us. And you and I, we are exclusive. I am not your part time toy; if you really want me then you have to earn it. I need your respect and fidelity."

"You have that, you did before."

Ianto leaned forward and brushed a brief kiss to his forehead. "Mostly though, stop trying to die, I hate it when you die, it shreds me up inside every time and I couldn't stand the thought of you not waking up."

They went back to looking into one another's eyes and Jack gently traced the tips of his fingers along Ianto's jaw.

"Can I ask something of you?"

Another smile. "Yes Jack."

"Don't let go. Hang on to your life for as long as possible, please. Do that for me."

"I'll do my best."

"Thank you Ianto."

**AN: Really not sure about the sappiness in this one.....?**


End file.
